Damian: Its official. Drake was right. I'm not capable of having proper social interaction and will forever remain a outsider. What purpose do I serve now?
Jon: Whoa, its not like you to have a existential crisis. What happened?
Damian: I tried to imply seduction techniques that Richard ensure me would led to a proper courtship upon Daniel Fenton and made a utter fool of myself.
Jon: Hey thats okay. Everyone, has a fail flirting story. I'm sure it wasnt as bad as you think it was.
Damian: He was explaining what color scheme he was going to use for his bird house he made and when he said he wanted to use Heritage colors, he asked for my opinion. Do you know what I said?
Jon: Oof something corny if Dick told you how to flirt.
Damian: No, I was thinking something corny. Instead my mouth thought it appropriate to say "To me, heritage colors means brown".
Jon: ....
Damian: ....
Jon: .....
Damian: You can laugh-
Jon: *WHEEZE*
Damian: This is terrible! *puts face in hands* He was holding the color palette. There was no brown on it. Just grays. GRAYS.
Jon: *Laughing* I'm sorry, what did he say?
Damian: Thats the worst part. He laughed, and patted my head, told me I was adorable.
Jon: Thats not too bad-
Damian muffled wail: He said I was really smart for someone my age, and that he always wanted a little brother like me. He then gave me stickers. HE THINKS IM TEN.
Jon: How old is he?
Damian: We're the same age, Jon, he's just unnaturally tall for a fifteen year old.
Jon: Well, you are unnaturally short for-
Damian: I will send you to your Kryptonian god
Jon: Jokes on you, I'm a atheist.
Damian: Im never getting married. I'll grow old, die a virgin, and be a burden to my father by living at his house until my expiration. Like Drake!
Tim: I literally had nothing to do with this conversation. I was just trying to have some cereal. Why you attacking me?
Damian sobbing: Move out, Drake, your boyfriend owns a boat house!
Tim: That's my boat house
Damian: Then why are a YOU STILL AT THE MANOR
Tim: I dont have groceries. By the way, I know Danny. He makes all of Bernard's wooden furniture. I can put in a good word for you-
Damian: Have I ever told you that your my favorite brother?
Tim: Don't. That made me skin crawl
Jon: Agree. It was unnatural.



















